Wednesday, November 3, 2010

My own little smear campaign

Since the fact that the midterm elections (go Republicans?) and the re-emergence of Rex Grossman happened to have coincided this week, I thought that it might be fun to run a little bit of a dirty race, laying out the reasons why he does not deserve your vote-- to continue existing publicly.

Rex Grossman, QB, Washington Redskins

I really haven't had much reason to care about Sexy Rexy since his 2006 campaign (4 years between making appearances?  The analogy is too obvious.), when he "led" the Bears to a Super Bowl appearance a year after rookie Kyle Orton had led the team to an 11-5 record the year before.  The fact that his team made the Super Bowl and mine did not doesn't really affect me in a vacuum; it was the way he played that season that makes me so angry that he's considered a roster-able quarterback.  Here are five stat lines from the Bears' 13-3 season:
  • Week 6 v. Cardinals: 14-37, 144 yards, 0 TD, 4 INT, 2 lost fumbles
  • Week 9 v. Dolphins: 18-42, 210 yards, 1 TD, 3 INT, 1 lost fumble
  • Week 12 v. Patriots: 15-34, 176 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT, 1 lost fumble
  • Week 13 v. Vikings: 6-19, 34 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT
  • Week 17 v. Packers: 2-12, 33 yards, 0 TD, 3 INT, 1 fumble (note that he only played the first half, and also note that two of those interceptions were returned for touchdowns)
Now, that season for my Eagles was one of promise at the beginning, and Donovan McNabb was a prime candidate for the MVP award, up until the team lost three straight and then McNabb fell to an injury.  The Eagles were a top-5 offense in terms of passing and total yardage.  Not the point, though.  Grossman was in that same conversation midway through the season, and then people found out in the second half that they were sorely mistaken.  Grossman was gross, and yet the defense that was top-3 that year in scoring defense, yards allowed, and turnovers, and had 4 touchdowns of their own to go with 5 from the special teams, was able to make up for his ineptitude.  Just to show this, the Bears were 2-3 in the above games.  THEY WON TWO GAMES WHERE THEIR QUARTERBACK PLAYED LIKE THAT.  Sigh...

Last year, my fantasy team was carried by the big-time play of one Matt Schaub.  In Week 13, he was facing the not-particularly-stout Jaguars defense in a matchup that certainly looked good.  I started following the game a little late, and imagine my surprise when it's not Schaub, but Rex Grossman, accumulating stats as the Texans quarterback.  And fine stats they were: 3-9, 33 yards, 0 TD, 1 INT, fumble.  Turns out Schaub had been sacked on their first offensive play, and fortunately he would return, but Grossman had put the Texans in a bad spot by the time he got back and Schaub didn't quite have the matchups or rhythm to take advantage of the Jags' D.  Fortunately, Brandon Jacobs decided to have his best fantasy game of the year (by 7 points) and Calvin Johnson had his second-best game of the year.

And now the quarterback who was competing with Grossman for MVP votes in the 2006 season gets replaced by him with two minutes left in a one-possession game, and promptly gets sacked, fumbles, and watches the Lions return it for a touchdown, promptly ending the 'Skins' chance of winning. 

And now Jamarcus Russell is being evaluated for the Redskins' roster?  WHAT IN THE NAME OF RYAN LEAF IS GOING ON?

Just go home, Rex.  Prop up your feet, and just sit there.

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