Monday, November 21, 2011

Week 11's Trap Games and Transvestite Dames

Full disclosure: there will be no further mention of women dressing as men in this post, unless you count Rex Grossman.  As it stands, we're just looking at a review of three games from the Week 11 slate, including full representation of the NFC East.


TRIUMPH: We’re going to give this one to the whole Broncos team.  Let’s be honest, how many people thought that they would be remotely competitive this season, let alone one game back of the division lead by themselves?  Not to mention that their two prior wins came against division rivals Kansas City and Oakland.

TRAGEDY: The Broncos had run all over people since they introduced their new-look college offense, but they were only able to net 125 yards on 34 carries in this game, which was close the whole time.  What remains to be decided is whether this was more the Jets defensive personnel or the decline of the scheme’s advantage.

TREND: This discussion is best made vis-a-vis fantasy football, as Tim Tebow’s skillset is probably best conveyed through fantasy points.  In the first three quarters of games he’s played this year (five starts and 1 relief appearance), Tebow has completed 36% of his passes and thrown for 310 yards TOTAL, accounting for 3 TD.  In just the fourth quarter, he has completed 56% of his passes and thrown for 399 yards, accounting for 7 TD.  Maybe he should play a simulated game for 45 minutes before kickoff?

TRAIL MIX: This is the fourth straight week in which I’ve discussed Tim Tebow in this post.  I have no idea how this happened; he’s just raw fascination.


TRIUMPH: Donte’ Stallworth is a picture of persistence, overcoming marijuana and manslaughter charges to have 4 catches for 51 yards and a touchdown in this game.  In case you were wondering, Stallworth came in with 24 receptions, 298 yards, and 1 TD since 2008.

TRAGEDY: If you watch the highlights of this game, pretty much every big play for the Cowboys offense involved the Redskins getting pressure on Tony Romo and Romo spinning or sliding out to his left and slinging it to Laurent Robinson, Dez Bryant, or Jason Witten.  You’d think they’d figure that out eventually, just like that silly draw play where Romo fakes a wide-receiver screen that they always run.

TREND: Dez Bryant needs to do some jogging between games or something.  The man has no conditioning.  He has 24 receptions for 413 yards and 5 touchdowns in the first half, and 10 receptions for 146 yards and 1 touchdown in the second half.  Maybe he should have a nice talk with God Tebow…

TRAIL MIX: The ‘Skins have lost six straight games and 7 of 8.  This is why you don’t go into a season with John Beck and Rex Grossman as your quarterback options. 
NFC East rankings after Week 5: Redskins, Giants, Cowboys, Eagles. 
NFC East rankings after Week 11: Cowboys, Giants, Eagles, Redskins. 


TRIUMPH: Everyone’s getting hyped about the Eagles’ Dream Team defense again, but keep this in mind:
They have allowed 292 total yards (65 rushing) and 15 points per game in their four NFC East games, going 3-1.
They have allowed 361 total yards (142 rushing) and 26 points per game in their other 6 games, going 1-5.

TRAGEDY: Until he caught a pass late in the game, Jake Ballard may have had the worst game ever for a pass-catcher.  He dropped several passes, including one in which he was wide-open and would have had an easy 30 yard gain, and also injured himself.  As a guy who started him in two fantasy leagues, it’s pretty disappointing from a player who had at least 55 yards receiving in weeks 5-9.

TREND: Victor Cruz loves him some Eagles secondary.  Two of his three 100-yard games and three of his five touchdowns this season have come against Philadelphia.

TRAIL MIX: I don’t have any historical data to make this more compelling, but prior to this game, Vince Young had not completed a pass, Riley Cooper had no receptions, and I was convinced Steve Smith was still playing for the Giants, having been responsible for multiple tipped interceptions this season.  Young led what was possibly the BEST DRIVE I’VE EVER SEEN BY THE EAGLES (18 plays, 80 yards, 9 minutes), Cooper went 5-75-TD, and Smith caught a key touchdown pass in this improbable win.

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