Week 11's Seder Slate

I had a fun time re-living the final weeks of the baseball season in the last couple days, what with the various postseason awards being announced.  We don't need to get into the whole AL MVP thing (you can find my position here), except for one detail that I need to point out.

This season, the BBWAA did the fans a great service by releasing the full list of ballots submitted for all of the postseason awards.  It is this decision that allows me to know that at least one kind soul (albeit Philly native Jayson Stark) voted Carlos Ruiz onto the ballot, even if it was just one 10th-place vote.  But there is one name on the AL MVP ballot that I just cannot stomach:

Raul Ibanez.

WHAT???  Last season for the Phillies, Rauuuuul was the worst player in the league, according to FanGraphs' WAR.  The worst.  And now he goes to the Yankees, of all teams, and gets an MVP vote?  Ugh.

OK, time to distract myself.

WHAT? New Orleans Saints at Oakland Raiders

WHY? Everybody loves a good old fashioned John Wayne shootout, and this game has the makings of a pretty good one, despite the completely disparate pedigrees of the two teams over the last 7 years.  Both teams are top-5 in the NFL in passing attempts and yards, and in the bottom 10 in passing yards, completion percentage, and touchdowns allowed.  Which, from the Raiders perspective, is fairly impressive considering they have Carson Palmer at quarterback and (in theory) Darren McFadden at running back.

WHO? Darren Sproles' injury and a lack thereof himself has given Chris Ivory another opportunity to strut his stuff on Bourbon Street, and it's some pretty good stuff.  In the two games he's played, he's gained an excellent 120 yards on just 17 carries with two touchdowns, while the rest of the team has produced 168 yards on 37 carries with no touchdowns.  However, this isn't some two-game fluke.  With just 233 career carries (since 2010), he has 1210 yards and 8 touchdowns, he has almost exactly the same production as Frank Gore had last season (1211 yards, 8 TD) with 50 fewer rushes, and only slightly less than Arian Foster (1224 yards, 10 TD) with 45 fewer carries.

HOW? You don't happen to know any big wigs at costume companies, do you?  (See what I did there?)  Because I bet they're watching this game in some pretty nice digs, considering the outfits that these two teams' fans rock each week.

WHAT? Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans

WHY? Because it will be a hard-fought, knock-down, drag-out division battle?  Because everyone loves games where the teams have opposite records?  Because both teams are coming off offensive explosions, and are going to light up the scoreboard?  OK, I'll settle for the sheer curiosity about whether or not the Texans can cover the 16-point spread.  After all, they did beat this team 27-7 earlier in the year, but they're just 3-3 in their previous six games against the Jags, with only one of those wins being by at least 16 points.

WHO? How about this battle of number one receivers that are trending upward?  Andre Johnson has averaged 7 receptions for 79 yards in his past four games (averaged 3 receptions for 57 yards prior), while Cecil "Eat My" Shorts has grabbed 5 receptions for 89 yards per game in his last four (averaged 2 receptions for 41 yards prior).  Raise your hand if you even knew who Cecil Shorts was prior to this season.  Now raise your hand if you drafted Andre Johnson as a top-5 fantasy wide receiver this season.  HA! HA HA! HA!  I'm sorry, that's rude.  Feel free to cite my preseason fantasy predictions post in your comeback.

HOW? MJD's not doing anything different this weekend than you or I, so maybe you guys can hang out while he watches some crazy NFL game package and follows his fantasy teams, most of which I'm sure are terrible because he probably drafted himself.

WHAT? Green Bay Packers at Detroit Lions

WHY? These two teams had top-five offenses and finished a combined 25-7 last season, but slow starts (3-5 combined after four weeks) tempered our expectations for both.  Interestingly enough, the Packers are currently just 19th in total offense, while the Lions are 2nd, despite Green Bay scoring 2 points per game more than Detroit and being 3 games better at this point in the year.  The last time these teams played, current overpaid Seahawks backup Matt Flynn led the Pack to a 45-41 victory by throwing for 480 yards and 6 touchdowns.  Here's hoping that that does not happen with Aaron Rodgers this week, because I'm playing against him in two fantasy leagues.

WHO? The receivers in this game have been surprising in multiple ways.  Calvin Johnson is actually on pace to exceed his reception and yardage total from last season, but with 25% of the touchdowns.  Greg Jennings has played in just three games, with only 12 receptions for 78 yards.  Jordy Nelson would be on pace for 1000+ yards and 10 touchdowns again, but he has been injured himself.  On the flip side, James Jones is on pace for 15 touchdowns (although he's actually averaged more catches, yards, and touchdowns in games where Jennings has started), and Randall Cobb has averaged 6 receptions for 67 yards and a touchdown over his last six games.  And keep Ryan Broyles in mind, as the Lions' recently anointed slot receiver is the all-time leading receiver in NCAA history.

HOW? It's a battle of his division rivals, and his team isn't playing in that time slot, so maybe Jay Cutler will be able to sit back, relax, and enjoy.  That is, if he can see, or know who or where he is.  I'm sorry, that was in poor taste.

Week 10's Tapioca!

If you don't get it, you don't get it.

The next couple weeks are going to be hectic for your friendly neighborhood blogger, what with Thanksgiving and moving to the big city (provided you're not from NYC).  Therefore, you'll have to give me a bit of slack with both the timing and depth of posts until towards the end of the month.  But, come on, you're not even reading this, so I'm not really concerned.  In fact, I'm so confident in this assertion that I'm going to write my first game review without any of the structure I normally do -- and I'm sure you can't imagine why.

COWBOYS 38, EAGLES 23

So Eagles fans got what they wanted -- sorta.  Amidst a chorus of boos and calls for Michael Vick's demotion, the only way that Andy Reid was going to put Nick Foles in a game would be if he had to -- and in this game he had to.  Vick left with an eye injury and concussion, and was replaced by the latest and greatest in Philly backup heroes (think Hoying, Feeley, Garcia, Kolb, and even Kafka to a lesser extent).  Foles looked poised at times, throwing a 40-yard touchdown on a broken play and getting the ball out quickly on some plays, but also had accuracy and awareness issues that caused him to produce two defensive touchdowns.  Oh, and there was that punt return TD for which Mat McBriar should be cut due to his terrible effort to even touch the returner as he sprinted down the sideline.  On a positive note, I would have bet a large sum of money that Bobby April's "special" teams unit would have allowed a return TD at some point in the 4+ seasons prior, but in fact they had not.

If Vick is healthy next week, you know Reid is going to start him.  He's been adamant about that fact all season, and there really is nothing that Andy owes the team such that he would "build for the future" when he is most certainly going to be unemployed after the season.  Vick was a personal reclamation project of Reid's, and especially with the $100 million contract, there's far too much invested both emotionally and financially in him to break ties now and play Foles.  However, the team is going nowhere with Vick this year, and after the last two seasons, I would find it very hard to believe that the Eagles' brass would bring back Vick next year, so could there be a point at which the front office would step in and force Foles into the lineup?  I think if Vick plays and they lose to the Redskins next week, it might be that time.

VIKINGS 34, LIONS 24

TRIUMPH:  After getting the Vigderseal of Approval (yeah, that was a bit of a stretch) over the first few weeks of the season (4 of his first 5 games with at least a 64 Total QBR), Christian Ponder promptly tanked, not even getting to a 20 Total QBR in any of Weeks 7-9.  So naturally, with Percy Harvin out with an injury and facing a hot Lions team, Ponder has his best game of the year, going 24-for-32 (75%) for 221 yards, 2 TD, and 0 INT.  However, I wouldn't expect much from him in the coming weeks -- the Vikes play four of their final six games against teams in the top half of the league against the pass, and the other two are in the top 20.

TRAGEDY:  Percy Harvin -- where you at?  Easily a top-five receiver going into last week, he now has just two receptions for 10 yards in the past two games.  He's still on pace for a career high in receptions and yards, and is right in line with his previous touchdown and rushing output, so it's not really so bad.  But like I said about Ponder, that schedule worries me, as it's pretty hard to get any catches when your quarterback isn't even throwing for 100 yards in a game (see last week).  Oh, and I'm clearly kidding about that first part.  Get well Perce.

TREND:  I reckon that this Adrian Peterson guy has a little something going for him.  After shocking the world and coming back in Week 1 from a devastating knee injury late last season with 17 carries for 84 yards and two touchdowns, Peterson has kept on rolling.  In the past four weeks, All Day has averaged 157 yards per game, scoring 5 total touchdowns, and that includes two games against the stingy Seahawks and Buccaneers run defenses.  He's the top running back in fantasy right now, but was drafted outside the top 10 at the position in most drafts... oops.

TRAIL MIX: Matthew Stafford has been quite the roller coaster ride this year, but in a more predictable way than you might think.  Since Week 3, in even-numbered weeks Stafford has averaged 50 passing yards and more than a touchdown per game more than in odd-numbered weeks, despite completing 8 percent fewer passes in those games.  If you constrain the sample to the last five games, the passing touchdown discrepancy increases to just under 2 per game.

BENGALS 31, GIANTS 13

TRIUMPH: It's fairly impressive that the Bengals so easily beat the G-Men despite being outgained offensively and having no non-offensive touchdowns, and it's just as impressive that Andy Dalton managed to throw 4 touchdowns on under 200 yards passing.  How'd they pull all that off?  Well, getting 4 turnovers after having just 11 in their first 8 games might help a bit.

TRAGEDY: Victor Cruz was on pace to exceed his incredible performance from last season (82 rec, 1536 yds, 9 TD), with 50 receptions for 627 yards and 7 touchdowns through just the first seven games of the year.  In the last three weeks, Cruz has declined along with Eli Manning's performance, but even in the previous two weeks (7 rec, 90 yds total) he was targeted a total of 19 times.  In this game, Leon Hall shut Cruz down, as he grabbed just three passes on four targets for 26 yards.  I would just hope December is better if I were his fantasy owner.

TREND: Speaking of months, did you know that Eli Manning is 43-16 in September and October, but 29-38 in November and December?  His completion percentage, QB rating, and YPA all decline from month to month over his career, and he throws an average of 1/3 of an interception more per game this month.  Just last year, the Giants went 5-2 in September and October with Eli posting 13 TD, 5 INT, a 100+ QB rating, and 8.8 YPA.  In November, the Giants went 1-3, with Eli posting 7 TD, 5 INT, an 86 QB rating, and 7.7 YPA.  Oh, and they won the Super Bowl.  Color me concerned that they might do it again.  Only slightly kidding.

TRAIL MIX: With all of the hoopla that surrounded Calvin Johnson's 2011, I feel like AJ Green's 2012 is going pretty far under the radar.  He has a touchdown in each of his last 8 (!) games, and has at least five receptions and 58 yards in all but one game (and at least 7 receptions or 70 yards in 6 of them).  He's on pace for 103 receptions for 1458 yards and 16 TD, which would be almost exactly the stats that Megatron posted last season (at least if you're in a PPR league).  And Green's doing it in an offense that's on pace to throw 100 fewer times.

Seder Slate for Week 10

So, I'm confused -- I think I saw basketball on TV the other day.  Do they even play that anymore?  I've been doing this football thing so much, and there was this election thing, I don't even know.  Oh, was there a lockout?  No, wait, that was the NHL... or was that the NBA or NFL last year?  Or the NHL eight years ago?  I can't keep these things straight.

WHAT? Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints

WHY? In any other year, this would be a big-time division matchup between teams that are jockeying for playoff position, but the Saints fell on hard times at the beginning of this season and still haven't figured out anything on defense.  The Falcons are the 6th best offense by both yards and points scored, while the Saints have allowed 470 yards per game, which makes them one of the worst defenses ever.  These teams have played each other close in high-scoring games, with the Saints going 6-2 since Matt Ryan came into the league but having an average score of 28-24 over those contests.

WHO? The Saints have the worst run defense in the league, so Falcons RB Michael Turner will be the player to watch.  He's on pace for his fewest carries, yards, touchdowns, and yards-per-rush since he came to Atlanta with Ryan in 2008, but has a chance to redeem himself.  The Saints are the worst run defense in the league, and Turner averaged 20 carries, 100 yards, and just under a touchdown per game in 2011 against teams that were in the bottom 10 in the league in run defense.  He has faced no such defenses so far this season, and only in last week's game against the Cowboys did he reach all three of those values from last year.

HOW? Just sit back, relax, watch what will surely be an exciting game, and wait for GM's to call you and offer you absurd amounts to have you run their team.  Oh, that's right, Sean Payton doesn't read this blog.

WHAT? New York Jets at Seattle Seahawks

WHY? It's the Braylon Edwards and Leon Washington Bowl, so you know these teams are hyped up.  The 'Hawks have managed another surprising season with below average quarterback play (31st in the league in passing), thanks to a 4-0 home record and the 4th-ranked defense.  The Jets' bye week came at just the right time after losing 4 of their last 5, including an overtime loss to the Patriots followed by a 30-9 drubbing at the hands of the Dolphins.  They won't be as affected by the usual cross-country trip malaise, as they've had time to get there leisurely, but that doesn't mean that Mark Sanchez won't get rattled a bit.

WHO? This isn't really as much about a player that's likely to make a big impact, but one who hasn't really done anything of consequence -- Tim Tebow!  Rex Ryan made all sorts of comments about giving defenses fits with Tebow, but the kneeling extraordinaire has attempted just three passes and 23 rushes in 8 games, and has scored no touchdowns.  This after he had 6 rushing touchdowns in each of the last two years, and in 2010 that was on just 43 carries.  Going on the road as an underdog in a raucous stadium, the Jets might need some creative plays to get out of there with a win, and Tebow could be the centerpiece of those plays.

HOW? Take your seat in the nosebleeds with a chocolate peanut butter smoothie in hand, put your arm around <insert accompanying party here>, and just give 'em the old eyebrows.  The rest is history.  You know what I'm talking about.

WHAT? Houston Texans at Chicago Bears

WHY? I'm not really sure why this is a question.  This may be the best matchup of the year thus far, at least when you take into account team record and not just team reputation.  Two one-loss teams in the top five in scoring and the top five in defense going head to head in primetime?  Too easy.  Granted, the Texans are going to run away with their division, so it's not critical that they win, but they can put themselves in an excellent position to run away with the AFC as well.  Oh, and the Bears have an opportunistic defense you may have heard about.

WHO? Arian Foster is pretty good, I hear, but if you look past the fantasy value, he's actually having a somewhat down year.  Yes, he's on pace for 1500 yards and 20 touchdowns rushing, but with an absurd 384 carries, which would be the 13th most all-time, after never having more than 327 previously.  His yards-per-carry is almost a full yard lower than his breakout year in 2010, and he's on pace to cut his receiving output by about 75% from the previous two seasons.  By Football Outsiders' Defense-Adjusted-Value-Over-Average (DVOA) statistic, which represents "value, per play, over an average running back in the same game situations" and accounts for opponents' defensive prowess, Foster is the 13th best running back this year.  Last year, he was 24th.  In 2010, he was 4th.

HOW? If you're feeling up to it, wake up, get a pancake breakfast at the Bongo Room before the game, grab a Chicago dog at the game, and top it off with some delicious ribs uptown at Twin Anchors.  Or, you know, have something vegetarian.  Good luck.

Week 9's Trashing the Terrible Team

As I'm writing this, the Eagles' season is coming to an end.  And perhaps it's more than that, as they're down 21-3 at halftime to a 2-5 Saints team whose defense is on pace to finish as the worst of all time by yards allowed.  Assuming that the Birds don't have the firepower or defensive wherewithal to come back in this game (although after the Miracle at the Meadowlands 2 I can't really rule anything out), a loss here will pretty much end the team's playoff hopes.  What's even worse is that the rest of the NFC East lost on Sunday, which means that the Eagles could have come within one game in the loss column of the division lead, but you have to be on your game to beat the Saints in New Orleans, and this team is in no phase of the game "on its game."

If the Eagles lose, I propose the following:

• The absolute first thing that should be done is to fire Special Teams Coordinator Bobby April.  That aspect of the team has been unbelievably bad for years now, and it makes no sense that the man has a job.
• Michael Vick should be replaced by Nick Foles.  Why not give it a shot at this point.

<Editor's note: Desean Jackson just caught a 77 yard touchdown to make it 21-10>

• Jim Washburn should be fired as the defensive line coach, because all we heard about in the preseason was how deep and talented the D-line was, and they came into the game second-to-last in the league behind the perennially-flaccid Jaguars' pass rush.

<Editor's note: Bobby April's special teams unit just forced a fumble on the ensuing kickoff, followed by yet another red zone flameout and a field goal>

• Either Andy Reid or Marty Mornhinweg should be fired, whoever has more to do with the play selection.  Some of the red zone and endgame issues fall on Vick, sure, but if you had 100 rushing yards in the first quarter and then get gifted a red zone possession, don't you think that your best player, Lesean McCoy, should touch the ball?

BEARS 51, TITANS 20

TRIUMPH:  This game was out of hand quickly, with the Bears leading 28-2 at the end of the first quarter and 31-5 at halftime, so it's not altogether surprising to see that the Bears ran the ball 36 times.  What's interesting about it is that Matt Forte had just 12 rushes compared to 20 combined from Michael Bush and Armando Allen (?).  Even after this game, and without taking into account the fact that he missed two games, Forte has 45% of the Bears' rushes this season, so this is just a blip on the radar.  Especially considering the game flow, and it's not like Forte didn't provide bang for your buck as a fantasy owner (148 total yards and a TD).  

TRAGEDY:  Even at age 37, Matt Hasselbeck has been quite serviceable for the Titans as the replacement for Jake Locker, after a revival year last season (2nd most completions, 3rd best completion %, and 3rd most yards in his career).  This season, he has been almost as effective, but in this game, he didn't get anything going, posting just a 14.2 Total QBR (tied for second-to-last thus far this week).  He gets a Dolphins defense that just allowed a record yardage total to Andrew Luck next, so he should be back to his manageable ways soon enough.

TREND:  Apparently the Bears defense and special teams thinks that Rex Grossman is at quarterback again, because they're doing their darndest to make it so that Jay Cutler's offense doesn't have to lift a finger.  Combined, the D/ST unit leads the league in takeaways with 28 (that's more than 21 teams last year in half as many games), is 3rd in the league in sacks, and has scored 8 touchdowns (the whole Jaguars team has scored 11).  The year they went to the Super Bowl with Sexy Rexy, the Bears were first in turnovers, 8th in sacks, and scored a seemingly ridiculous 9 D/ST touchdowns.

TRAIL MIX: More Bears' D/ST fun.  After this week, they will be the second-highest-scoring non-quarterback in fantasy football, behind just Mr. 50 Points, Doug Martin.  Their 141 points according to ESPN is better than 27 teams all of last season, and if they keep this up, their total would have put them 7th among all players, behind just the top 5 quarterbacks and Ray Rice.  The difference between them and the 10th best defense BEFORE this week was the same as the difference between the 1st and 39th wide receiver, and 7 of the other top 10 defenses hadn't had their bye week yet, while the Bears have.

COLTS 23, DOLPHINS 20

TRIUMPH: It would actually have been more impressive to not have two 100-yard receivers when Andrew Luck throws for 430 yards, but how about having two not named Reggie Wayne?  Yes, Wayne had 7 receptions for 78 yards and a touchdown, but T.Y. Hilton and Donnie Avery each had at least 5 receptions for at least 102 yards against a porous Dolphins defense even before they traded Vontae Davis to the Colts earlier in the year.  Heading into the game, Hilton hadn't had more than 37 yards since Week 3, and Avery had caught less than 50 percent of his targets all season for just under 350 yards.

TRAGEDY: The Dolphins were the best defense in the league on third down coming into the game, allowing just 26% conversions.  The Colts, to their credit as a young and mostly new team, were top-10 in the league offensively on third down.  Clearly Indianapolis imposed their will, going 13-for-19 on third down, moving Miami's season percentage all the way up to 33.

TREND: OK, I swear I'll talk about the Dolphins in the next part, but let's get to the first half of Andrew Luck's rookie season.  He's on pace to throw 672 times, which would be the most by any player since his predecessor Peyton Manning in 2010, and the third most all-time.  His 4808 yards would be the 8th most all-time (four of those ahead of him being last year).  Now, obviously those two stats are correlated strongly, and his completion percentage, yards-per-attempt, and TD/INT ratio aren't anything otherworldly, but the team is in prime position to make the playoffs after being the worst in the league last year and giving away one of the three greatest quarterbacks of all time.

TRAIL MIX: It seems that Miami has a mutually-exlusive defensive skillset.  They're 3rd-best in rushing yards-per-game and yards-per-attempt allowed, but are 4th-worst in passing yards allowed per game.  Only the Buccaneers' 1st-ranked run defense and 32nd-ranked pass defense has a more dramatic discrepancy.

BUCCANEERS 42, RAIDERS 32

TRIUMPH: Surprise!  It's Brandon Myers!  An underrepresented fantasy asset in the past few weeks, Myers had gone 7 games and 31 receptions without a touchdown, while also being the second-most-targeted Raider since Denarius Moore came back from injury in Week 2.  This time, he caught another 8 balls for 59 yards and 2 touchdowns (and doing so for multiple of my fantasy teams).

TRAGEDY: Darren McFadden, it's been nice knowing you.  After another lackluster start (7 rush, 17 yds), he suffered what I hear is a high ankle sprain, ending his surprising run of health after an equally-surprising run of futility.  Remove by far his longest run of the year, a 64-yard touchdown in Week 3, and he has just one total touchdown and an icky 2.8 yard per carry.  I quit.

TREND: Apparently Doug Martin is into Tyler Perry, because he did bad all by himself.  After losing Pro Bowl left guard Carl Nicks for the year last week and losing right guard Davin Joseph for the year before it started, he apparently has taken that personally.  In the last two games, he has 61 touches for 486 yards and 6 touchdowns.  That's almost exactly the rushing statistics of RGIII all season (69, 487, and 6), and is just 22 yards fewer than the entire Saints team had through 7 games.  Oh, and he had at least 120 total yards and 5.3 yards per carry in his two prior games.

TRAIL MIX: I realize I sorta touched on this already, but it's bordering on ridiculous.  The Bucs allowed just 22 rushing yards, but let Carson Palmer throw for 414 yards, further expanding the difference between their rush and pass defense.  They've allowed 20 yards per game more than anyone else through the air, while allowing 5 fewer yards per game than anyone on the ground.  For those that care (and that's pretty much just me, let's be real), that puts them at a solid 29th in the league in total defense.

Apparently I'm terrible at projecting fantasy performances

You may have noticed, but this week I'm in a lazy retrospective mood, so while earlier this week we took a look at my preseason predictions for the NFL, this time around I'll be assessing my preseason fantasy football predictions.  I wrote a post detailing some of the "post-season awards" that I purported would be given out at the end of the season, and upon re-reading the post, I am amazed at the degree to which I was wrong.  I'll explain why I was wrong, and who would have been a better pick for that award had I been clairvoyant a couple months ago.

The Don’t Chase the Career Year Award  --  Rob Gronkowski  --  After scoring a ridiculous 17 touchdowns and having over 1300 yards last season, I suspected that the Regression Imp would strike Gronk, since he more than doubled his receptions and yards and had a significant uptick in touchdowns.  Well, this year he's on pace for 1100 yards and 14 touchdowns, and is currently 26 points better than any other tight end.  Oops.

Who should it have been? Matthew Stafford threw for 5000 yards, 40 TD, and just 16 INTs in 2011, but with a significant dropoff in deep passing (and therefore touchdown) output this year, is on pace for 4800 yards, 18 TD, and 16 INT this year, with 50 more pass attempts.

Best Fantasy French Guy – Pierre Garcon  --  I could probably get myself off the hook here since he's only played in 3 games, but it's not like the 4 receptions for 44 yards in his two most recent games is doing you any good.  I still maintain that with a dynamic running game to keep attention away from him, he would be a good option, but he just can't get on the field.

Who should it have been?  Andre Roberts (pronounced "Ro-bear" for the purposes of this exercise) has somehow managed to be the 17th best fantasy wide receiver, thanks to three games in which he has totaled 18 receptions for 275 yards and 4 touchdowns (as compared to 18/179/1 in the other five).  And let's face it, the competition wasn't exactly fierce.

Most Likely to Induce a Pun Around a Logistics Company – Donald Brown  --  Speaking of fierce competition... I actually don't feel too bad about my call here, as Brown has averaged 8 points per game in the games in which he has played, which would put him at 23rd among running backs after being drafted closer to 30th.  We'll see if a couple touchdowns swing him up into the top 20.

Who should it have been?  Bet you didn't see Andre Brown coming, didya?  Currently the 22nd-ranked RB despite not playing in three games, he's been helped significantly by one breakout game against the Panthers and two touchdown-vultures in the last two weeks (he's on pace for 10 TD).

NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year – Mike Trout  -- Who knows, the split vote between Luck and RGIII could give Trout the surge he needs?

MVGWGLN (Most Valuable Guy With a Generic Last Name) – Ryan Williams  -- Yeah, so we're just going to glaze over the 3 yards-per-carry and season-ending injury and move on.

Who should it have been?  How about giving some love to Vincent Jackson!  A Fantasy Whac-A-Mole (credit to ESPN's Fantasy Focus podcast) for much of his career (and really, he still has three stinker games), Jackson has exploded for his new team, with 5 touchdowns and three 100-yard-games in his first seven with the new squad.

Wile E. Coyote Award (Guy most likely to fall off a cliff) --  Marshawn Lynch – The back spasms haven't hurt him at all (pun intended), as he picked up right where he left off, gaining an impressive 4.8 yards per carry while being on pace for 1500 yards (albeit with half as many touchdowns as last year).  The touchdowns might go up a bit, but the yardage will probably decline, so he should be right on par with last season.

Who should it have been?  In the interest of not discussing players listed in the next group, I'll go with Calvin Johnson.  After averaging 100 yards and a touchdown per game in 2011, he is still on pace for 1500 yards (although he has just 80 in his last two games combined), but with just two (!) touchdowns.

Quarterback Conglomerate of the Year – The Romo, Ryan, Rivers, Manning, and Manning Group  --  I argued that all of the above quarterbacks would be almost indistinguishable from a fantasy perspective, and gave all sorts of evidence to support that notion.  So let's see: Romo and Rivers have been terrible (21st and 28th among QB's), Ryan and Peyton Manning have been very good (6th and 5th among QB's), and Eli Manning has been right in his own usual wheelhouse (9th among QB's).

Who should it have been?  How about this group for you: Alex Smith, Cam Newton, Andy Dalton, Michael Vick, and Carson Palmer are separated by just four total fantasy points.  They were drafted between 4th and 23rd among QB's.

The I Am Legend Award – Steven Jackson –  Man, it just gets worse and worse.  I was arguing for taking Jackson at the back end of the top 10 running backs due to his guaranteed workload and durability.  Well, he's played in every game, but he's on pace for his lowest yardage total since 2004, his lowest yards-per-carry ever, his lowest touchdown total ever, and he's now splitting carries with Daryl Richardson!  Blech.

Who should it have been?  Shonn Greene -- SHONN GREENE -- is the 12th-highest-scoring fantasy running back this season.  Now, I should note that 40% of his scoring came in one game, but points are points, I guess.

The “She turned me into a newt!....... I got better” Award  --  Michael Vick  -- You don't need to tell me, I own him in my family league.  Oh, and I'm an Eagles fan.  It's been brutal, and now he might even lose his job.  And he hasn't even gotten injured!  I can't even talk about this.

Who should it have been?  Last year, Reggie Wayne was immersed in a sea of terrible quarterbacking (no one, and I mean NO ONE, should think that Dan Orlovsky is the answer at quarterback), finishing 29th among fantasy WR's in 2011.  This year, he's gotten really Lucky, and is on pace for a ridiculous 123 receptions for 1700 yards!

Fantasy MVP – Darren McFadden  --  This really is just a comedy of errors, isn't it?  McFadden has really struggled to produce behind an offensive line that is still learning the zone-blocking scheme, and just like Vick, McFadden has been bad without even sniffing the injury report!  He's eked into the top 20 among running backs with a decent game last week, but still hasn't done much to even convince me that he's the most valuable Raider!

Who should it have been?   Considering draft position, this has to be Robert Griffin III.  He's done almost exactly what Cam Newton did last year fantasy-wise, which is why he was almost universally drafted, which contrasts with Newton's rookie year.  Griffin should regress in the second half as defenses figure him out, but he's still an elite option for the rest of the year.

Honorable Mentions (aka people I didn’t feel like working into award titles)

Ryan Fitzpatrick, Percy Harvin, Eric Decker, Peyton Hillis, Mikel Leshoure, Greg Olsen

It's a mixed bag here.  Harvin, Decker, and Leshoure have been good (Harvin very much so), while the rest of them have been very "meh."  Fitzpatrick has had some very December-like games (for him) earlier in the year, Hillis has been hurt, and Olsen has been brought down significantly by Cam Newton's step back.

Dishonorable Mentions (pretty much the same, but negative.  Duh.)

Andre Johnson, Trent Richardson, Wes Welker, Demaryius Thomas, Jermichael Finley

I feel very good about Johnson and Finley, but Richardson, Welker, and Thomas are no worse than 10th at their positions.  Brandon Lloyd hasn't hurt Welker's value at all, Richardson has been matchup-resistant (but not injury resistant), and Thomas has been a lot more respected a target for Manning than I thought he would be.