The Seder Slate for Week 2

Getting into the groove now, if you wanna prove your love to me, now's the time.

It's been a tough work week for my football soul, as the Raiders/Chargers game produced no positive outcomes (McFadden and Rivers didn't do enough, Gates was underwhelming and got hurt, and the Raiders didn't cover), and the Bears/Packers game was even worse (Forte missed half the game and will be out several weeks, Marshall wasn't targeted in the first half and dropped a 30-yard touchdown, and the Bears thus failed to cover).  So perhaps this weekend's games will provide me with a little juice to lift my spirits.

What? Tennessee Titans at San Diego Chargers

Why? Two teams with potential playoff aspirations meet after the Titans got blown up by New England and the Chargers spooked the Raiders' backup long snapper enough to eek out a Week 1 win. The Chargers always start slow and finish strong, but they have an opportunity to go 2-0 with Ryan Mathews missing the first game and being limited in the second.  As for the Titans, can anyone guess what's on ABC Family right now?  HOLD ON TO THAT BALL, PETEY!

Who? Chris Johnson ran for over 1000 yards and had 400 yards receiving and Philip Rivers threw for 4600 yards and 27 touchdowns in 2011, but they were considered disappointments because of their expectations and their seemingly anomalous other statistics (Johnson's 4 rushing touchdowns and Rivers' 20 interceptions).  Well, CJ2K's bounce-back season started off with an 11-carry, 4-yard performance against last year's 24th ranked defense in yards-per-rush, and Rivers put up a positively Alex-Smith-esque 231 yard, 1 TD, 0 INT game against last season's 27th ranked pass defense.  Meh.

How? If you can keep your head straight while doing so, try watching it while doing up-downs until Blue is no longer tired or thirsty.

What? Minnesota Vikings at Indianapolis Colts

Why? Because if the Vikings pull out this win on the road in Indy, they will be alone at the top of the NFC North, in a division where the other three members are considered strong playoff threats.  Christian Ponder went 20/27 for 270 yards in Week 1.  Matthew Stafford, Aaron Rodgers, and Jay Cutler, all Pro-Bowlers, have thus far averaged 23/37 for 267 yards, 1.4 TD, and 2 INT in their combined five games.  Yes, I'm exploiting a small sample size for my own benefit.  Lies, damn lies, and statistics, people.

Who? Purple Jesus, All Day, The Cashier (Merril Hoge?  Really?), whatever you call him, Adrian Peterson looked like that guy last Sunday.  All the reports everyone heard before the game had him netting no more than 10 carries, and he ended up with 17 for 84 yards and two touchdowns.  That was against 2011's 5th-toughest yards-per-rush defense.  This week he faces the Colts, who may be going through a massive defensive philosophy shift, but they were 29th in the league against the run last year, and can't have improved much yet.  However, small sample size analysis with a guy 8 months off ACL/MCL surgery is about as solid as the Bears' offensive line.

How? It's Jewish High Holiday season, so grab two shofars, tape them on top of a biking helmet, grow a beard, and cheer on the Vikings!

What? Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks

Why? Here's a situation for you: imagine that on the first field goal attempt of the game, the Seahawks get a good push up front and end up trying to block the kick.  Somebody absolutely wrecks the Cowboys' holder, Chris Jones (yes, I had to look this up).  Then, with under two minutes left in the game, the 'Boys are down 20-17, and Tony Romo has to come in to be the replacement holder for the field goal.  You're telling me NO ONE wants to watch the game for that possibility?

Who? As a multiple-fantasy-owner of DeMarco Murray, I'm eager to see how he performs after averaging over 6 yards per carry on 20 carries last week against the GeeeeeeeeeMen.  The 'Hawks allowed 27 yards on 17 carries against the Cards last week and were 4th in the league last year, allowing just 3.8 yards per carry, but Murray gained 139 yards on 22 carries against them last season.  Man, this really is a small sample size week.  I guess there's only so much you can do when there's only been one week of the season.

How? Post up in the rotating restaurant in the Space Needle and get a smart phone, 'cause you're watching 1/3 of the game from on high (and through a bit of room, I imagine), and for the rest, you've got live update apps!  What's better than that???