I had a brief (and totally real) conversation with the
Triumphs, Tragedies, Trends, and Trail Mix weekly column, and I noticed in his
tone of voice a hint of loneliness.
So, I’m doing what it takes to maintain satisfaction in the Strong Side,
Left Side workplace, and giving the old 4-T a friend. In the interest of symmetry, I’ll look towards the future,
pointing out some of the games and matchups that I’m looking forward to each
week. Spoiler alert: this column
is not likely to include Dolphins or Redskins games. They’re downright awful, but their defenses are just good
enough to avoid a Colts-style smackdown, which would at least give me something
to talk about.
This column will have a similar flavor to the WD 4T ("Weekly
Deets: Triumphs, Tragedies, Trends,
and Trail Mix" abbreviated – yes, I just made it up), but with question
words! That’s fun, right? Everybody loves the Four Questions. Wait a second... I think I’ll call it
The Seder Slate
Week 8
(Ooh,
and it rhymes this time!)
What? Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans
Why? These teams got beat by a combined score of
103-14 last week, and now face each other in the Licking-My-Wounds Bowl. Tennessee at least has a decent record,
while the Colts need to show up sometime,
right?
Who? Titans RB and generally despised fantasy entity
Chris Johnson has massively disappointed, earning roughly $1 million per 20
rushing yards this year after signing his big contract in the offseason. He faces a Colts defense allowing over
150 yards rushing per game, second-to-last in the league. Go big or go home, CJ.
How? Watch this game with some old, bitter Baltimore
or Houston football fans. Then
remind them that their current teams are better.
What? Detroit Lions at Denver Broncos
Why? The Lions are starting another losing streak
after falling to the Falcons last week, while the Broncos aim to play more than
4 minutes of good football and win consecutive games for the first time since
the middle of 2009. Oh, right and
there’s….
Who? **skies
part** The Lord God Tim Tebow.
**cloud cover returns**
(Honorable
Mention: Broncos kicker Matt
Prater, who hit a 52-yard field goal last week in Miami that would have been
good from 70. Now he’s back in the
thin mile-high air. You do the
math.)
How? Watch this game lying on your back; it’ll give
you a close facsimile to how Tebow will experience the game, except he’ll have
Ndamukong Suh lying on top of him.
What? Washington Redskins at Buffalo Bills
Why? Well, the Bills are hosting this game from
Toronto, the capital of Ontario, and the Redskins are from Washington, D.C.,
the capital of the US. That’s
worth something right? No? Hm, how about watching two teams with a
combined 7 wins after Week 7 play each other that finished with a total of 10
wins last year?
Who? Maybe Rex Grossman can find a new job in
Canada’s not-the-US job market.
Watch for that during halftime.
How? Watch this game sitting on or around a
moose. A stuffed one will suffice
for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment